A season of searching every direction with no visible footprint
Oh that I knew where I might find him! That I might come even to his seat! I would set my cause in order before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know the words which he would answer me, and understand what he would tell me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No, but he would listen to me. There the upright might reason with him, so I should be delivered forever from my judge. “If I go east, he is not there; if west, I can’t find him; He works to the north, but I can’t see him. He turns south, but I can’t catch a glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take. When he has tried me, I will come out like gold.
Every direction I look repeats Job’s geography: east and west without him; north and south with only a glimpse that never becomes a face. I want to reach his seat and set my case before him, and I have arguments ready if he will only listen. That desire is not a deficit; it is a hunger waiting at a table that has not been set yet.
Underneath the map is one quiet given: God knows the way I am walking. I do not need the whole compass in my hands; I need to be known. Job says the test will end in gold, and gold hidden inside a furnace may not know its own color; only the smith’s eye can see it. What if the inaccessible silence is not a locked room but a workshop, and the heat is not rejection but the slow forming of a face?
Jesus does not point toward one of Job’s horizons; he says the way is himself, and he takes that way through the cross, where the distance from the Father becomes a body, not a blank. The Father calls you the one he knows, not the one who found him. You are not less than gold because you cannot see the goldsmith; you are still in the middle of the melting that only he can judge.
The Father calls you the one he knows, not the one who found him.
Father, you know the way I take. I set down the compass. If this silence is the furnace, keep your eye on me in the smoke. Let the waiting itself be safe, not because I can feel it, but because the Son has already walked the whole rim of the absence. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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